pen or pencil

One of my most treasured possesions is an address book. It was given to me by my diaper day best-friend - Bev. I was getting ready to leave Miami for Chicago - chasing Bob - and my roomate threw a goodbye party for me. This was in July 1980 - each guest brought me a gift that reminded them of our relationship. One gift was a candle - made to look exactly like a taco - from my Taco Viva companion. Bev brought an address book, with a Norman Rockwell picture on the front. Norman is my all time favorite artist. I wrote the addresses in that book in pencil. This was something that I had read about in a women's magazine. That way when an "addressee" moved, I could easily erase the old address and write in the new one. In the transitory society of our world, it seemed best to keep things easily changed. Besides, I like things neat and orderly.......
I used that book until the summer of 2001 when it was replaced with a Mary Englebreit address book. Mary has become a close favorite to Norman. The old book was falling apart.
When I transferred the addresses from Norman to Mary - I noticed that some of the entries had been erased and re-written so many times, there was a worn spot on the page. There were others, that hadn't been changed since 1980.
This past fall John and Victoria moved. I went to change the address in my ME book, and noted that - in this new book, the lines for the Bedford's home address was nearly worn through the page. Had I written the addresses in ink there would have been a rich chronology of their life. At least since I had met them.
DeJong's address is the same in the old book and in the new....
Bowles address is still on the change of address card tucked into the "b" page
Frosts - the same - granted, the Ft. Myers E. Free church directory was the depository for their address, but there was one for Ft. Myers and one for Lakeland.
Jack and Linda - the same for 23 years....
Dave and Jana - I think I've kept up
Lorraine - I could have written that one in ink.
Cheryl and Michelle - I might be able to change from pencil to pen



all this is leading to this thought......is "this" friendship ink or pencil? We've been living in GA for 3 1/2 years now - and Bob has moved to Chicago - with plans for me to follow after the great thaw. I have made friends. I have really nice neighbors. I work with a great group of people. Since moving here - and having left the community that I lived in for 18 years - I am realizing how important friendships are to me. Well, actually, not REALIZING, but rather, recognizing, how imortant friendships are to me. And in contemplating this, the reality that some friendships are temporary (in pencil) - and some are permanent (in ink) has become very real to me.
My neighbors are pencil friends - as I suspect my work friends will be. My ink friends will not be totally known to me until I move away, and the relationship is challenged by distance.

I am so grateful for my ink friends, and I am learning to let the pencil friends, be just that, friendships that cannot/should not/ don't need/ to be permanent. I have fretted and stewed over the friendships that I had hoped would be ink, but turn out to be pencil, and that is wasted energy - let it go !!! I am determining to enjoy pen for pen and pencil for pencil. The great thing is, once a friend is an ink friend, they will ALWAYS be an ink friend - even if they don't know it.

To all my ink friends - Thanks - your friendship means more to me than I can ever find the words to express..........................................